A little experiment

Women, pay attention.
From the minute we arrive on the planet, we are learning. Memorizing. Recording. Absorbing. It’s what we are designed to do. Every single message comes in and is processed. Stored. Placed. Our brains find a spot to file away the information for future use. There is no filter for ‘good info’ or ‘bad info’ – all of it is subconsciously stored.

And guess what has been the constant, unfailing narrative???
“You are NOT ENOUGH.”
“You need this product.”
“Your friend does it better.”
“That person outperforms you.
Your life would improve if only you did XYZ.”

It all boils down to this: keep women in a state of insecurity so we buy more, we do more, we need more. Perpetuate a scarcity mindset so we are never satisfied, and we teach our children the same. Generation after generation, we hand down the scarcity mindset.
The comparison rituals.
The competitive drive that wins no trophies and only widens and deepens the cavern within.

My favorite is the new spin on the old game… the empowered version of comparison. You see, we started to catch on. We woke up a little. We decided we didn’t want to be pitted against each other… so the narrative changed.
It shifted.
It became acceptable to stop openly competing with others. Now we feel evolved when we say we aren’t in competition with anyone else- we just want to be better than the person we were yesterday.

There it is!

The subtle shift, but still the scarcity.

Do you see it? Do you feel it?
You are not enough.
You are STILL not enough.
You must strive to be better than you were yesterday. You don’t have to compete with ‘her’ but you must compete. You must compare. You must change, improve, push harder, press forward. You’re not permitted to accept yourself as is.
Because you are NOT ENOUGH.
You need to be more and buy more and do more.
To rest is to be complacent.
To accept yourself is to ‘give up’.
To be still is to settle.

What a scam!!!!!

Read this (and read it every day until it sinks in and replaces the narrative you’ve stored within your psyche for years and years…)
You were enough yesterday and you’re enough today…
You do not need to compete with her or them or yourself.
You do not need a product to make you perfect.

And if we don’t believe that, they’ve won. We are fully trained. We are captives. How does that sound?
Yuck. It makes me mad.
And sad.
And worried.

What if we tried a little experiment? Let’s ask our brains to alert us when we receive a message that reinforces the scarcity mindset. Let’s set an internal alarm to go off when we start to compare or feel inadequate.
Let’s do this every day for a week… Watch what happens.

<Alarm bells are gonna RIIIIIINNNG!>

Our brains will give us the info we request. The alerts will come – we just have to listen.

And then we need to remind ourselves of this:
We have enough.
We do enough.
We are enough.

Totally Enough!!!

—————

Through her vulnerability and a generous dose of honesty and humor, Holly Chamberlain encourages and empowers others to find joy in every moment… even the impossible ones.

Holly is Regional Sales Director for a global pharmaceutical company and Founder of The aMasongrace Project, a suicide prevention organization. She is an advocate, speaker, and blogger. Her widely-read blog, “It’s Just Me” chronicled her journey of surviving suicide loss. Her latest endeavor, “Totally Enough,” is focused on empowering women of all ages to recognize their unique value, to walk in abundance, and to rest in the knowledge that they are already enough. As is.

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15 Comments
  • Amy Wadhwani
    Posted at 12:13h, 07 July Reply

    Spot on as usual. Thank you for always reminding me and all of us that we are perfect just the way we are.

  • Katie Respaldiza
    Posted at 13:10h, 07 July Reply

    This is so beautiful!! And now that you’ve pointed it out, I do see it, lol!! I’m so glad that God brought us together both in Bible Study and here!!! Can’t wait to read more!!

  • Anne John
    Posted at 15:34h, 07 July Reply

    This is amazing Holly. I’m going to do this!!

  • Jennifer Abrahams
    Posted at 16:23h, 07 July Reply

    When I was reading this. It makes me think back to when I was a little girl and how you always want to be the best at everything, the smartest, the prettiest, the most popular, etc. it starts so young and makes me sad when I think about it. Now that I have a teenage daughter, I see the same thing going on. I try to teach her that she us enough!
    Thank you for posting this. ❤️

  • Lisa Orr
    Posted at 19:21h, 07 July Reply

    Holly!!!! You are an Amazing Person, Leader and Mentor to all of us in this wonderful industry!! I look so forward to meeting you in person some day soon #TeamGSK

  • Ally Stewart
    Posted at 07:53h, 08 July Reply

    Thank you for not only speaking your truth but so many of our truths too. Beautifully written, spot on accurate and insanely enlightening!!

    • Holly Chamberlain
      Posted at 09:49h, 08 July Reply

      Thanks for consistently encouraging me!!! You’re such a gift, Ally!

  • Dawn
    Posted at 08:24h, 08 July Reply

    Thank you Holly. I will soon be 60 and still struggle with this, but, am doing so much better. My cheerleader husband has reminded me often, “You are enough!” Boy, did I marry the right man. I once read something that said as parents our job is to fill our children with the good, positive stuff they need to hear.: you are beautiful, you did a great job, you are kind, you can do that etc . . . We fill them like a shopping cart. Because throughout the course of life, those beautiful items in their carts get lost, stolen, depleted and may never get replaced. We daily need to fill other people’s carts with love, positive words, encouragement. Thank you for what you do. You fill our carts.

    • Holly Chamberlain
      Posted at 09:48h, 08 July Reply

      Dawn, this comment made my day! Thank you for sharing this! The whole world will tear down our kiddos- let’s build them up! Love that!

  • Daisy+Rain+Martin
    Posted at 10:01h, 09 July Reply

    TRUTH, SISTER!

  • Shannon Gill
    Posted at 19:32h, 10 July Reply

    Ring-Ring! I’m preparing myself to be reminded! We are enough! I love you, Holly and the insightful way you share truth!

  • Heather Wheeler
    Posted at 10:47h, 11 July Reply

    So beautifully written Holly. It’s so easy to get caught up in trying to be something you’re not. Looking for love or acceptance at the expense of your true self is exhausting and ineffective. We all do it. Thank you sweet and beautiful lady for the reminder that we need to be our own best true self, and it is totally enough.

  • Christy Cosmano
    Posted at 16:46h, 11 July Reply

    The world we live in is not easy and from such a young age, I was pushed to be perfect! It stuck with me a very long time and was very trying for me. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be! I will tell myself everyday I am enough, I do enough and I have enough! I will remind my children everyday! Thank you for empowering and enlightening women and we need more like you!

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